Dealing with Feelings

I don't believe turning off feelings is the answer. Without feelings, empathy, even toward self is gone. Feelings are triggered by thought. Therein lies the problem. Even the Dali Llama relates difficulty stopping his distracting and negative thoughts. Prayers and mantras are useful in displacing upsetting thoughts with peaceful ones.

Using alcohol or drugs to stop negative feelings or thoughts, simply postpones the day when these issues will be faced, and sadly, the delay will make them much more difficult to deal with. Alternatively, one can choose to remain impaired for life, but then all feelings are suppressed, which essentially is throwing life away.

Many years ago, I decided to stop avoiding and suppressing my feelings (frequently with the help of alcohol), and instead, explore their depths, fully engage with them. The result was that I spent quite a bit of time alone, curled up in a fetal position, in abject despair. All of my previous expectations of life evaporated, and I came to the question, "What now?" "Well, I need to take a shower and make some dinner..."

When feelings are allowed to wash through, and giving up occurs, the mind and heart are finally free of troubling expectations. It's at this time that many people find transformation and inspiration, as they have nothing to lose and everything to gain by starting over, as a child, re-learning who she is, and what she wants out of life.

Eventually, one can learn how to find that trans-formative level of inspiration without having to go through the experience of despair and giving up.

So, bottom line, face the feelings and work through them. Let go of the baggage and expectations that bound you to them. Then do as the Dali Llama, meditate, pray, visualize inner peace. Gracefully forgive and let go of distractions. Know that each time you awaken from sleep, you are stronger, wiser, and better equipped to face the day's challenges.

Instead of fearing and avoiding feelings, face them, with self-compassion, and let them be fully recognized. Fear inhibits empathy. An open and compassionate Heart has at it's center Divine strength, which makes it indestructible and eternal. Such a Heart has nothing to fear from feelings, and isn't interested in avoiding them. Instead, they're allowed to be instrumental in the evolution of even greater understanding and empathy.